The Pants & Socks Home Working Survival Guide
We at Pants & Socks believe that there are very few activities that cannot be made better by doing them in your pants. Home-working (or hybrid working) is here to stay, so why not get comfortable and embrace the joys of Working from Pants (WFP)?
Zoom calls are the fly in our WFP ointment. It's not just Zoom fatigue and our minds turning to mush. It's the mouth-breathers, the face feeders, the never muters, the barking dogs and the sheer pointlessness of it all. "You're on mute mate!". If we must endure this nonsense for the foreseeable future let’s do it in style.
WFP isn’t without its dangers, however. So we've put together our 6 WFP Tips to stop you from getting your balls busted and landing in hot water with HR.
Business on Top, freedom down below.
Tip 1. Pant selection
The home working gateway-pants are boxer shorts. As you master the key techniques for Working From Pants, we recommend starting with boxers - they can easily be mistaken for shorts. Start small (or long), be patient, master the techniques, and you'll be chatting in your thong in no time.
Tip 2. Reflections are the enemy
Once you have selected your pants, it is vitally important to examine your Zoom Zones. Mirrors, pictures, glasses and any reflective surfaces should be removed from view. This is the number one reason for failure; just ask the Mayor of Antwerp.
Tip 3. Exit strategies
Create an exit strategy. What happens, for example, if the postie arrives with your latest package from Pants & Socks? The best strategy is a phased technology breakdown. Learn your shortcuts - kill the video feed, mute your mic, exit the application.
Or just go nuclear: crash that computer.
Tip 4. Control your movements
Humans have a tendency to talk with their hands so beware. Knock your laptop lip and the camera shift will irreversibly alter the perimeters of your Zoom Zone; knock something over and you could be up and mopping before you can say full frontal. To start off with, you might want to try sitting on your hands.
Tip 5. Don't forget your socks
A stiff summer breeze can take you by surprise and yelps of discomfort, even the smallest squeal of surprise, could be your downfall. Socks are the first line of defence.
Tip 6. Always be cool
You're getting the hang of working in pants, you've progressed to briefs and you're feeling good. But confidence, or rather overconfidence, is not your friend. Learn from the lessons of the great pant wearers who went before you. Do not get cocky, don't forget your basic training and NEVER mix Working From Pants with the consumption of alcohol.
Are you ready to take your first steps? Share your WFP fails, tips and techniques with us on the Pants & Socks Twitter #WFPFails.